good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
