You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
