I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
