Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
