he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
