and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
