found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
