You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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