shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
