I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
