He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just threw up on my dentist
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
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i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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