he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
