College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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