This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
