True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
