he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
