I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
