The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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