No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
