life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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