Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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