2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
