Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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