we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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