oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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