as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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