I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
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