I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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