WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You pole danced in your parka.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
