just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
