is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
