She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
