well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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