in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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