Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
