i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
