3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
