i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
