My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
