my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we made out on top of his cat.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
