I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
