i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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