This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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