Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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