The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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