And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
