Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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