The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
