I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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