I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got inside last night via doggy door
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
