Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
