I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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