Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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