he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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