do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
