Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
