I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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