I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
